Sorry to drag you into yet another tale of my cringey teenage crushes, but you were always going to be up there in the list of crushes that deserved their own letter. At least, with this letter, I get to rope a friend of mine into the cringe with me (Hey, Kate!), so you get two for the price of one on lovelorn confessions.
Kate was an absolute babe by agreeing to let me be open and honest about our crush on you, it just wouldn’t be the same story without acknowledging our shared admiration of you, and she will attest that we had quite the crush on you. You were in the same class as us in Sixth Form and sat in ahead of us in the classroom. Sitting behind you in class gave us the perfect vantage point to daydream; we would swoon when you rolled your sleeves up to your elbows and admired how attractive you were in the business casual dress code (I mean boys in ties and tailored trouser, am I right?).
There’s not a lot of action to write about because Kate and I are both extremely shy individuals so there was no way that were ever going to act on how much we fancied you. Also, girl code pretty much prevented either of us from taking it any further. I know I’d feel terrible if I dated a guy that my best friend liked; it wouldn’t be worth risking a friendship that means so much to me over a boy, no matter how cute said boy is. We did, however, do something equally as humiliating as attempting to date; we assigned code names to the boys we fancied so we could talk about them in front of them. Weird, but ingenious really
Fancying you was more awkward for me than most of my notice pursuits because you were friends with my ex-(almost)-boyfriend (the dude from ‘To, the boy I give too much credit‘) and there was no way that anyone could move past that whilst we were all still stuck at the same school. Just imagine: “Hey, I know your best mate humiliated me in front of our entire class but wanna grab a coffee sometime?”
There was a short stint in my first year of university where we exchanged snapchats and messages, usually after a night out. I’m known to get a little bolder and particularly amorous after a few drinks so it wasn’t a shocking outcome that, when armed with booze and my mobile, some unadulterated flirting would slip out. There were also a couple of photos I received post-hot tub that refuelled my teenage crush. *sighs dreamily*
Despite all the drama and dancing around my crush, we still talk occasionally on birthdays or Christmas and it normally leads to a little catch up about what’s going on in our lives nowadays and maybe an attempt at flirting here and there on my part. I love that we talk, no matter how briefly. I look forward to the next time.
Love from, Katy x
Click here to read the previous letter in the blog series: To, the (literal) Sex God.